Hello, and welcome to howtogetfriends.com where we teach you and provide you with all the necessary things you need to know on how to get friends.
This site is dedicated to the subject of meeting new people, finding new friends, making new friends, making your first friends and even making your only friends. All the information available here is a free overlook of the most common obstacles to meeting new people and making friends. After reading this site you should have an idea on how to get friends, but keep in mind – its only a start.
Let’s take a look at the most common reasons why you might be on how to get friends:
- You have just moved to a new place, a new city where you don’t know anyone, how to get friends really can be an unexpected issue.
If this is the case, then it’s easy for you. Meeting new friends is not as though as you think it might be, especially compared to other obstacles of finding new friends. We have an article on here that might give you some ideas on how to get friends in this situation.
- You are very shy.
Being shy is not being introverted or having a social phobia. Being shy means that you expect other people to judge you, and you are afraid of being judged. The question in this case is not how to get friends, but how to overcome shyness. A lot of people are shy, and that is a very common aspect of failing to make friends. The good thing is that after you overcome shyness it going to be easy for you, you will find your right place in social situations and have the right social circle. People might actually ask you how to get friends!
- You have a social phobia.
Having a social phobia is like being shy, just to the most extreme, where you actually fear social interaction, the fear is unreasonable and not in your control. You also experience panic attack when talking to people. If you were to be given a simple guide on how to get friends you could not execute it, if you have social anxiety. If this sounds anything like you, please read this section of our website.
- You don’t know how to hold conversations.
Some people just don’t know how to think on their feet. They might be a little shy, they might not have too many interests, or not find too many people interesting. Those things can result in very poor conversation skills – a huge obstacle to making friends, so big that every website on how to get friends should have a section for just that. If you ever wondered how to get friends you probably had the thought of improving your conversational skills.
- You feel like you don’t deserve friends; your self esteem is low.
How to get friends? Well, that’s hard if you don’t have any self esteem. It’s actually a very common problem for a lot of people, and not only in finding new friends, but also in other life situation that requests any confidence. We all want to be the person that knows how to get friends, the person that can walk up to anyone, start a conversation and finish it with a new friend. Unfortunately not everyone has the self esteem to do it.
After you read other pages on this website you will realize that what all those things come down to is self confidence, the ability to be in ease with yourself. This ability is the true answer on how to get friends.
I know everyone talks about confidence, how you should be more confident, and what not. Some other people insist that there is no such thing as confidence, only arrogance. Confidence do exist, having confidence is like knowing how to get friends naturally. It’s also the key to getting anything in life.
Let me explain what confidence is all about and how to get friends using it.
I like to think that confident people are very practical people. They don’t care about their egos, what others think of them or other silly things. They have defined who they are; they have made a decision who they want to be. They know themselves and believe in themselves. If someone asked them how to get friends, their answer would probably be something like this: “How to get friends, pff, just go up to someone and talk. Just don’t ask them how to get friends!”
When a confident person says that he can do this or that, he means it. He is not saying it just to sound cool, put someone down, or to have an ego boost – he really doesn’t care about that. He is saying it because he has a belief that he can do it. The belief might come from previous attempts at trying to do it, or from the knowledge he has gained. If someone is prepared, why would he not thing he can do it? A confident person realizes that.
It also goes vice versa. A confident person is never going to claim that he can run 15 miles if he can’t. He is okay with the fact that he has decided not to workout or do jogging. He knows he’s values and respects others values. If someone is filthy rich he is not envy – he is happy for the other person for fulfilling his goals. The key aspect here is the word “decided”. A confident person has his view on the world and he is comfortable with it – and that is what attracts other people, that is how you make friends. More on this later.
Think about it – would you ever like to be friends with someone who lies, who says he can do this and that, who is so very concerned about his own image? That’s a person who doesn’t know himself, how can he expect others to know him in a positive light and choose to be friends with him over other people? Would you ever choose such person over a person I described as confident?
Honestly, think about the popular asshole you know, would you REALLY want to be friends with him? If you are easily fooled and are fine with fake friends, then go for it, but don’t ask how to get friends. He has not figured out how to get friends, he has figured out how to boost his own ego. In fact, if that’s what you value there is nothing wrong with it. Again, the key is being awake to what you value and being at ease with it. That is how to get friends and how to make new friends with anyone.
Let’s talk about how this can actually help you make friends, and how to understand how big your social circle should be.
Let me tell you a story about a friend to whom I asked how to get friends before making this website. He told me his story. This guy used to be friendless; he was shy, introverted and insecure on top of that. He got really into bodybuilding and healthy living. He would get home after work and either workout or read up on health and fitness. After a while he developed confidence. Fitness became his number one value and priority in life. He was so passionate about fitness that somehow this introverted 23 year old kid started to randomly chat with people in the gym. He had only been doing this for 3 months – so he knew he knows just very little and there are more things to learn.
(Keep in mind, he did not had the question how to get friends during this time, it came naturally)
If he saw a bulked up guy in the gym, he would go up to him and ask for advice on the things he did not know – and the result was incredible. They would have very meaningful conversations, each adding their knowledge and passing it around each other. Small talk became enjoyable, because they really did care how the other person was doing.
All this was possible because he knew what he wanted to do and was comfortable at what he knew and what he did not knew. That is how to get friends the natural way. In fact, you can try this. Go up to someone and just ask “how to get friends?”.
If you value friends, having a huge social circle and are genuinely interested in people, a miracle could happen – you might connect and be friends with completely opposite people. And thats not beyond how to get friends, that is how you do it.
Say my friend in that story also valued friendships and wanted more of it. If he was comfortable being who he is, and respected other people with different values, he could be friends with anyone.This actually happened to him. Once he met a guy in his work that could not run 15 miles and had no interest in fitness whatsoever, and he admitted it. He told my friend that he, however, can calculate 2916/54 in his head. What happened was two guys, who were the complete opposite of each other, became good work friends because they valued knowing more on the world and expanding their interests, social circle and understanding other people. They were both confident in themselves and that allowed them to get over their differences and enjoy each others company.
Summary on how to get friends
So really, what is the easiest way to get friends? I honestly would recommend starting at getting comfortable with yourself, getting confident. Read this website; find out what other problems you might have apart from confidence issues. That won’t answer how to get friends, but it will give you ideas on how to get friends. Its up to you to take those ideas and execute them. Execution is how to get friends.
What I would also highly suggest you to do is visit the page bellow and reading the book on there. It’s not that expensive, and it changed my life – maybe it can change yours too.
Remember, you are here because you want to gain knowledge on how to get friends, knowledge is confidence. There is no thing that you can do or buy that will get you friends overnight. You need to take steps. Getting on this page and reading this posts – those were baby steps.